relish

by whetham allpress

food ****
coffee **
vibe ****
value ****

The quietly booming cafe culture in east London is marred only by those new joints that beneath the surface are either just tarted-up sandwich shops or upmarket greasy spoons. Relish, however, is one of the proper ones, designed from scratch, sitting brand-spanking-new on the banks of Newington Green. It is firm evidence that Stoke Newington fine dining is drifting south.

It is designed as a cafe/deli with generous shelf and chiller space dedicated to finest european vittles. You’re probably not going to do your grocery shopping there but you might well collect a weekend treat or last minute dinner party opener after you’ve had your breakfast and read the free papers.

Coffee
We had two rounds of cappuccinos and lattes (they didn’t know what flat whites were so we defaulted) and unfortunately were a little disappointed. Like so many of London’s breakfast emporiums, the barista skills were sadly amiss. All four coffees were weak, too hot, and the milk was burnt. And the second cappuccino came out in a bloody great latte mug. Sighs of resignation and lament for London’s coffee shame.

Breakfast
After drowning our sorrows in free papers we consulted the hot breakfast menus. All the basics were covered from the full english through various poached egg and hollandaise combos to mushrooms and boiled duck eggs, and of course pancakes. A simple menu, and really when it comes down to it, all you want (as far as we were concerned quiche and salads and fish cakes come way later on a weekend, and are best kept out of a breakfast cafe menu, no?).
We ordered a round of pancakes, a full english and eggs royale (with salmon) and were handsomely rewarded. After the coffee fiasco, Relish lept back into favour with some very very nice food. The pancakes (bananas, berries and maple syrup) were not huge but lovely, fresh and just enough for two to get started with. If coffee is one litmus test for a breakfast joint, poached eggs are the other and the Relish chefs proved they knew what they were doing.
The full english was huge, well presented and sported crispy bacon and an organic sausage. The Royale was simple and perfect, the eggs beautifully tender, mantled in creamy hollandaise and mounted on finest flakey salmon.

So what the hell went wrong with the coffee? Relish should sit its front of house staff down and ask this question then go to all lengths to help its coffee makers to solve a problem that could keep it from being recognised beyond local borders as a place worth a trip to.

address: Relish, 44-45 Newington Green, London N16 9QH
telephone: 020 7354 4377

potty for pastéis

by hannah williams

From the outside Pastéis de Belém looks no different to the million other cafes nestling on the corners of Lisbon’s busy streets, undeniably dilapidated but still in possession of a certain colonial chic.

But Pastéis de Belém is not like any other coffee shop. It is birthplace to an institution as important to Portuguese national identity as a bag of vinegar-soaked chips is to Blackpool seafront.

The pastel de nata or custard tart has been baked in Belem for nearly 200 years. And while tasty replications can be picked up in any street cafe or bakery across Portugal, the original are still the best.

Behind a modest frontage, opposite a tram stop for the nearby Mosteiro dos Jerónimos, lies a warren of lofty rooms, replete with original stone flooring, elegant blue tiling and ceilings high enough to make your nose bleed.

Yet despite its ample statistics, the rambling rooms of the renowned bakery are perpetually packed with cake-hungry punters from across the world who flock in droves to taste the perfect pastry and succulent custard fillings.

So what’s so great about pasteis?

Take your pick; from the thin yet sturdy sweet pastry that cracks in your mouth but doesn’t crumble to the weighty rush of warm creamy custard that follows filling your senses with sweet delight or the sharp cinnamon dusting that rounds off the mouthful leaving a warm spicy feeling on the tip of the taste buds.

Perhaps it’s the grandpa-esque waiters who shuffle round in smart black pinnies ever alert to the inevitable requests for ‘two more cakes please’ or the nautical brickwork that makes it easy to imagine Vasco de Gama shuffling down a tart or two before embarking on his latest naval conquest. Whatever it is that makes pasteis taste so great, it makes it happen tenfold in Belém.

That’s not that useful if you live in Dalston though. So how can you recreate that Lisbon magic without venturing outside London?

Canela in Soho is a good bet for all things Brazilian including pasteis and Cafe Lisboa near Portobello Road is another safe bet.

But if you really want to treat the taste buds nothing beats Belém.

parsons house

by hannah williams

Yorkshire is not a county famed for contemporary cooking and forward thinking design. Puddings and pies maybe but light and airy B&Bs are a rarity in a guest house landscape populated by doily clad sitting rooms and stern faced land ladies.

Parsons House, situated just off the village square in Hartington, a picturesque village in the heart of the Peak District, is anything but stern.

Established in 1999 by Alison Brookes and David Beers the couple have made an admirable job restoring the higgledy piggledy inn back to its country Georgian splendour.

A labyrinth of low ceilinged rooms of whimsical design would make fitting abodes for the likes of Mr Tumnus and Alice in Wonderland. Though the Tardis style nature of the airy, spacious layouts, brightly decorated with Pop Art classics perhaps make it more fitting as a home for Dr Who.

Original features with a modern twist, exposed copper pipe work and tea and toast served on demand are just some of the many highlights. But it’s the hearty and unfussy food on offer that gives the place its edge.

Situated a stone’s throw from a host of cheese farms it’s no surprise that much of the cuisine is the stuff of a turophile’s dream – and David is more than happy to fulfill requests.

Some of the locally sourced breakfasts on offer on our last visit included:
- rhubarb, gooseberry and passion fruit salad with or without natural organic yogurt
- amazing porridge with an apple/cinnamon/butter syrup and drowned in double cream
- full English breakfast (eggs, organic bacon, oven roasted tomato with a splash of balsamic vinegar and a bay leaf, and oatcake from the region)
- honeydew melons cooked and caramelised in a pan with a homemade ginger syrup
- black pudding from the area (melts in your mouth) served with slices of cooked apples and an oven roasted tomato

With the couple’s friendly welcome and unerring passion for modern, Yorkshire cuisine, you don’t even need to take in the breathtaking views waiting on the doorstep to feel fully rejuvenated and refreshed. But of course you should.

creamy porridge with buttery cinnamon syrup

prices: from £28 for a single to £55 for a double with shower and WC
address: Parsons House, Mill Lane, Hartington, Derbyshire SK17 0AN
contacts and info: telephone: 01298 84801 , e-mail: info@parsonshouse.co.uk or www.parsonshouse.co.uk

fish!

by hannah williams

There’s not a lot to shout about the restaurant Fish! which is saying something given you struggle to pronounce the brand name without succumbing to the demands of punctuation and upping your voice an octave.

But enforced exclamations aside the Pizza Express of oceanic cuisine finds itself stranded in an awkward place somewhere between slick city eatery with slick city prices, and substandard burger joint serving all things aquatic with a thick breaded coating and a side order of chips.

Now don’t get me wrong I am a bastion of no frills food and would willingly forego an elaborate parsley garnish in favour of good, staple marine fare.

It’s just that Fish! seems unsure of its chosen culinary destination.

Instead of doling out chunky potato chips and fluffy cod cakes for a budget price worthy of its canteen chain status or wowing the foody crowd with delicately marinated tuna and swordfish steaks it has opted to be both in a disastrous ill thought out hybrid that serves up inadequate fish burger- in- a- bun combinations at £15 a pop.

The location (in an open side street just off Borough market with a spacious outdoor seating area and light glass structure) gives it a massive leg up, pulling in an easy mix of passing tourist trade and office workers out to lunch.

And its A4 paper menus complete with tick box options, which seem to double up as table mats, give it a nice nostalgic feel – kind of like an adult version of Wimpy.

 

But it’s this all things to all men attitude that lets it down.

 

I plumped for a well grounded tuna burger and chips and my companion a medium rare swordfish steak with salsa Verde accompaniment and a side order of fries.

 

The tuna when it came, while adequate in size had been burnt black around the edges in an over zealous attempt to char grill the infamously dry fish, with the conciliatory moisture coming in the form of a rather sloppy mayonnaise interspersed with what looked like half a shredded iceberg.

 

The swordfish was cooked well by comparison though leaning more towards the medium/well end of the cooking spectrum than was ordered. But for a dish that started out at £12.95 (before the highly priced side orders were added on our helpful waiter’s insistence that a bucket of chips was necessary to ensure the meal offered sufficient sustenance) there was no justification for serving the salsa accompaniment in a black, plastic container a kin to the like you’d expect to see alongside a Ryanair hotdog on a return flight to Malaga.

 

The service was faultless, the staff efficient, friendly and helpful. But with a host of Young’s chain bars offering similar standard pub grub right around the corner and for half the price Fish! fails to meet the demands of or even identify its target market.

 

For high brow lobster and delicately poached sole, nearby rival Roast has already hooked both punters and critics a like or for those in search of a quick battered cod there’s an array of great chippies on Borough High Street.